Harassing or verbal/emotional abuse?

Although it is true of how people describe harassing or verbal/emotional abuse, both are bad. My Mother says that I should be homeless. She repeatedly tells people bad me - like playing computer all the time, which is not true at all. No parents can understand their children perfectly: there are always arguments.

Plus

I just went on a 4-day Grand Canyon trip (Aug. 19-23, with 4 days of renting car) and we visited Las Vegas, ’we’ as in 3 people who met through CouchSurfing website. The trip was a disappointment as one of the people travelled completely different than me (and the girl, one of the travellers, somewhat). He travels like an old person. And my uncle who is 50-something agrees with me! – We stayed at a hotel that is 3 hours away from our last destination!!! Well, I didn’t want to pay so he paid for me J

Anyway, at Las Vegas, since one was playing poker and one was shopping for all the time we were there (we got there at 1PM when we could go there on the first day!!! And of course, we stayed at hotel that was only 4 hours from LV the first day when we could definitely gone to LV the first day!!!), I went touring the city, the Strip. I have met 2 old men (in their 50-60s) – Well, they found me.

The first person whom I met was a ghost hunter whom claims that he is a director of films regarding ghost tracking. He said he has home in LV. He seems to be very rich, as he seems to be going to casino all the time. He asked me what do I think what happens to people when they die. I answered that people get reborn after death. He agreed with me. Well that is a good sign, as I have thought about this topic, which I do wonder whether people my age think the same thing. I sometimes think I am a little awkward thinking of these things at this age…but I suppose not as I don’t ask people my age about these things.

The second person, and last, I met was Joseph, who owns 5 restaurants and one being in Monterey, CA. He claims that he owns 5 houses in LV, which sounds rich, but not so much, as houses in LV are really cheap compared to major cities like San Francisco and Vancouver, BC. He studied psychology in college and yes, he is very good at telling at what kind of person people are. We only met for about only 4-5 hours and he understood me well. When we finally separated at around 1AM, I simply thought that he knew me well, but later (after the whole trip), I realized that he understood me too well, perhaps even more than my own parents. He said that I am a peaceful person, which I don’t really know what that means; as to me, the term ‘peaceful’ means something completely different. I would need to google up some time. He saw that I am a sad person who is not good at getting along with people her age when we first met. I was very surprised. I thought you don’t need psychology to tell what people are; some people are just good at it and some are just bad at telling so quickly. I think I am good at telling people like that too, but I realized that I cannot tell how people are when I have just met them, such as being very specific, like family relationships and socialization skills. I basically told him everything about my life – family stresses mainly. I was very amazed when he told me that arguing with parents is a good thing! I now realize that this may be true but not true at same time. Arguing makes my parents angry; yet, I also express my anger and feelings. I can say this because my cousin does not express herself and her parents are just making all the decisions and she follows them. She has no freedom. Because of arguing and wanting to do my own things, I tend to force myself doing things that my parents don’t approve (and things that I really shouldn’t follow as I am risking something that may cause me negative results), such as going on a 4-day kayaking trip right before my final exam and going on a 5-day trip with strangers. Well, I am not sure if I am patient or not, but I feel that it is better to enjoy myself when I am young and when I have plenty of time.

August 25, 2013 12:55AM

I have recently started using Couchsurfing and I really like the system. I have 2 days ago called to ask people if they are interested in coming with you on a short trip (1-day or 2-day trip). Only one person has contacted me and he said he has a car and is willing to go there – from San Francisco to Monterey/Big Sur area that is 3.5 hours at most from San Fran. My mother and brother are flying back to Vancouver in 2 days and I am going back in 4 days, I am just trying to save some money for my trip as it is 2-stop flight plus bus back to Van. I have plenty of time to travel before I leave since it is Labour Day long weekend. However, my mother does not trust CS and she does not let me go on the day before I go back or the day she goes back. Those are actually the best days for me to go, especially Monday, since I have nothing to do that day. Yet, my mother threatens me to go on Saturday; if I disagree and threaten too to go on Monday or Sunday, she just goes berserk and would not let me reason and have my own choice. Now I don’t even have the strength to call this person and go on the trip. My self-esteem is just gradually being destroyed by my mother. Whenever this kind of relationship happens, I always cry and I always think why they are treating me like a kid, telling me things that should be told to little kids, as well as my brother who is mature than his age, and reminders reminded by my mother is always like told to little kids, not someone who is my brother’s age, who is 13. My mother keeps talking about this and doesn’t stop for a long time. I am always depressed and sad, which is why I should have contact with the old man whom I met in Las Vegas and discuss about my feeling towards my family and my relationship with them, maybe my brother too, who is similar to my behaviour. Everyone these days, whom may be younger than me, they stay at someone’s home and usually, it is a girl staying at one man’s house, this is quite likely the case, as I have recently met a Chinese girl going to a male host’s place and she is alone. My mother trusts no one who she does not see or met, that is something that has to be changed since we young people have very different way of travelling and living. Thus, I am stuck in a prison with often no choice of freedom. I am always forced to sleep at the same time as my mother, whatsoever, whilst my uncle’s girlfriend’s son can sleep whenever he wants to and he seems to always be having freedom and he can go back home quite late too, not that because he has a car or something. I think he has this freedom because he is just graduated from college last year and got a low-paid lab job and his mother is no longer worried or something. I don’t know, this person is born America and his mother is very independent too. My mother is definitely not like her.

August 29, 2013 9:27PM

I just got home from Mark Angelo's talk and it is already close to 11pm. I told my Mother I am sad because I just saw a friend's Facebook message and I saw that I am not part of the group. Yet, Mother is harassing me as usual. For the message, it is about a plan for my school SFU's environment initiative and I am not part of it even though I am one of the Event Coordinator (the other EC invited people to the talk - there are 20 in total). The person I went to see the talk and saw the message is not close to the inviter at all, it's probably because she is one of the main person for the Wildlife Conservation Club, which was MY IDEA. I am feeling being alienated again and this is just my everyday life. I just want to go somewhere and learn new language and make friends that way so everyone is learning to speak the new language and I am also at their same level. It's probably because my English is hard to understand and I am getting alienated. Yet, there are people who would invite everyone to come, I like those, they are more open minded.

Mankind is always Mankind

Anime, to some people, especially older people, would say that they are made up, they always contain false/fantasy. However, I disagree. Today, on the newspaper, it said that a non-government organization is looking for 40 individuals to travel to Mars on-way and live there and see how lives are like, with research - meaning they will live there their whole lives. The newspaper also said that the organization strongly advised not to have children but will have children in the future. This is ridiculous. Just like what the anime Gundam portrays, people will colonize planets over time and establish colonies as human population increase. In Gundam Seed, mankind, with their killing machines Gundams for wars, destroyed Earth and innocent people on their all died (with a teddy bear seen in the space - assuming people are on the earth).

So basically, as long as man kind don't go extinct, there will always be war. Planets will be polluted, dominated by mankind, and eventually as there will always be people who don't agree with each other.

The story Gundam itself will come true in the near future - that I am sure. There are also other anime like this, which I haven't really read, so disregard that.

I have just came back from a field course in Bamfield 3 days ago and started school yesterday. I have to do my report portion assigned by classmates and I was doing it since 2 hours ago and it takes time to do so. Everyone stayed at school all day today trying to finish their report and get a very high mark. Yet, my Mother is yelling at me for working until so late. My depression has risen once I am home; it was nothing so depressing at the Bamfield (although there were some other issues that made me very sad). I am listening to music so I can concentrate and she does not understand this report is a group report; everyone has to be contributed to the report, working at the same level. Finding all the information on over 10-15 plant species is no easy work. My Mother just does not understand how students work together and how school is like. And how students do not sleep a lot when there is school.

Repeat

So, again, I am writing a group report. While I am trying to write and doing other things at the same time, I know I have to finish tonight. I only slept 5.5 hours but I am not that tired as if I really want to sleep now. And AGAIN. My Mother is emotionally abusing/harassing me, calling me worthless, what's the point of living, etc.

Again in the morning...

So I woke up this morning and asked for use of computer then she harassed me again for 20 mins...repeatedly negative talk.